I came across this funny webmaster parody of the Night before Christmas a few years back and got a kick out of it. Since I thought it was so cute, I’ll post it here for you guys to enjoy. I don’t know who the people mentioned in the last few verses are, though…
‘Twas the night before Christmas, I’d gone to bed early
My click-thrus were down and I felt kinda surly.
I’d chugged a few shots of Jack straight from the bottle
Sufficiently numb, off to bed I did toddle.
I lay there awake, cause no matter how toasted
I couldn’t stop thinking of sites that I hosted
My Adsense was down and the worst of my fears
Told me something must give or I’d soon work at Sears.
I’d just closed my eyes, though my head danced with visions
of SEO schemes and new Google provisions.
There has to be some way to highlight my sites.
I need some good SERPs ‘fore they turn off my lights
But just as I started to dream of red numbers
A racket above woke me up from my slumbers.
I sat up and listened, did I really hear it?
Naah that’s silly, I went went back to sleep (or darn near it).
Then a noise from the den! Where’s my Louisville Slugger?
I crept down the stairs… filled with dread of some mugger.
Shoulda called 911 first, oh well, it’s too late.
I rounded the corner, ill prepared to meet fate.
But nothing prepared me for what was afoot
By my fireplace stood Greg Hartnett covered in soot.
I knew it was him, we’d met six months before
But why is he here tracking soot on my floor?
I had no idea what to say at this time
This guy made too much dough to be turning to crime.
But what he did next was a godsend to me
He sat down at my desk and turned on my PC.
Into Best of the Web all my sites he inserted
Though the entry illegal, my crisis was averted.
I still had to know how he came by this task,
I mustered my courage, I just had to ask.
Well, Santa was sick, and was stuck home in bed
so to get off the “Naughty List” Brian Prince said
He would offer to serve as replacement for Santa
But sent Greg when his own flight got stuck in Atlanta.
There was just no reply to be made to such news
So I stood mute as he vanished back up the flu.
Running outside I thought as he moved oer my roof
My insurance is silent on “damage by hoof”.
But it turned out the sleigh wasnt powered by deer
But instead it was editors. Now he shouted with cheer…
“On Laisha, on Kfander, on Suz and Bluedarter,
on Mitch and Rzan, Hey KC! Must pull harder!”
I dont know just how, but they started to fly
So I called out once more as they lept to the sky…
“Hey Greg! That’s amazing… how’d you make that thing go?”
He called back “Hey it’s YOUR dream, so how should I know?”
Like this post? I would love to hear from you in the comments…
christmas poemchristmas webmasternight before christmasparody
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